her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
