So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
