Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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