So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
