Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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