why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
