i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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