My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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