You're completely useless in the revolution.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
