Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize