did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
