Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize