2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
