put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
smell my finger.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
