My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
