About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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