We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
