Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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