I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
