I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she pinky promised me she was 18
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
