How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
