everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
