My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Randomize
