you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think I sprained my soul last night
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
