Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
