Just fell off a train. Bad.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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