Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
