Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
