Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
