Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
