so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
false alarm, still single
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