That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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