why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
