the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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