So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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