I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
