yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
