Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
