I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize