then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
