My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Pants are for mortals
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The adults are the big ones right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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