THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
