jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
