We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize