i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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