yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
