GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
