Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
