ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
