You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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