I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
how drunk are you?
Several
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize