You smell like a Billy Joel song
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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