why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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