that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
