If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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